- High need baby features
- What to do
- How is the development of baby high need
- How is the mother's health
The high need baby is a baby that has a high need for attention and care from parents, especially the mother. He needs to be held all the time, since he is born, cries a lot and wants to feed every hour, in addition to not sleeping more than 45 minutes in a row.
The description of the characteristics of the baby in high need was made by pediatrician William Sears after observing the behavior of his youngest son, who was very different from the older siblings. However, these characteristics cannot be described as being a disease or a syndrome, being just one type of personality of the child.
High need baby features
The baby who has a high need for attention and care has the following characteristics:
- It cries a lot: The crying is loud and strong and can last practically all day, with small intervals of 20 to 30 minutes. It is common for parents to initially think that the baby is suffering from some disease, because the crying seems to be inconsolable, which leads to many pediatricians and the performance of tests, and all results are normal. Sleep little: Usually this baby does not sleep more than 45 minutes in a row and always wake up crying, needing a lap to calm down. Techniques like 'letting crying' to stop do not work because the baby does not stop crying even after more than 1 hour, and studies show that excessive crying can cause brain damage in addition to leaving marks on the child's personality, such as insecurity and distrust. Her muscles are always contracted: Even if the baby is not crying, it is possible that her body tone is very intense, which indicates that the muscles are always stiff and her hands are clenched tightly, showing her dissatisfaction and desire to get rid of something, as if they were always ready to flee. Some babies seem to enjoy being wrapped in a blanket that is lightly pressed against their body, while others simply cannot stand this approach. It sucks the parents' energy: Taking care of a baby in high need is very tiring because they seem to suck all the energy from the mother, needing full attention most days. The most common is that the mother cannot stay away from the baby for more than half an hour, having to change the diaper, feed, put to sleep, calm the crying, play and all that is necessary to take care of a baby. No one else seems to be able to meet the needs of a high need baby . He eats a lot: the baby in high need seems to be always hungry and dissatisfied, but because they spend so much energy, they don't get to be very overweight. This baby likes to breastfeed and does not use the mother's milk to nourish her body, but also her emotions, so the feedings are prolonged and the baby loves to be breastfed, doing everything possible to stay in that comfortable position where he feels protected and loved, for much longer than normal, as if hourly. It's hard to calm down and never calm down alone: A common complaint of parents with babies in high need is that the techniques that managed to calm you down today may not work tomorrow, and you need to adopt all kinds of strategies to calm down the baby who is crying a lot, how to walk with him on his lap, in the stroller, sing lullabies, pacifiers, bet on skin-to-skin contact, put on to suckle, turn off the light.
Having a baby in high need requires a lot of dedication from the parents, and the most common is that the mother feels frustrated and thinks she doesn't know how to take care of her baby, since he always wants more and more laps, attention, eating and even if she does everything for him, even so, can always seem very dissatisfied.
What to do
The best way to be able to comfort a baby in high need is to have time for him. Ideally, the mother should not work outside the home and be able to count on the help of the father or other people to share tasks other than looking after the baby, such as cleaning the house, shopping or cooking.
The father can also be present in the child's daily life and it is normal that as the baby grows he gets used to the idea that there is not only the mother in his life.
How is the development of baby high need
The psychomotor development of the high need baby is normal and as expected, so around 1 year old you should start walking and at 2 years old you can start putting two words together, forming a 'sentence'.
When the child starts to communicate pointing to objects or crawling towards them, which happens around 6 to 8 months, parents are able to better understand what the baby needs, facilitating daily care. And when this child starts to speak at around 2 years of age, it becomes easier to understand what he wants because he can verbalize exactly what he is feeling and what he needs.
How is the mother's health
The mother is usually very tired, overwhelmed, with dark circles and little time to rest and take care of herself. Feelings like anxiety are common especially in the first months of the baby's life or until the pediatrician reaches the diagnosis that the child is in high need.
But over the years the child learns to be distracted and have fun with others and the mother becomes no longer the center of attention. At this stage, it is common for the mother to need psychological counseling because it is possible that she is so used to living exclusively for the high need child that it can be difficult to get away from her, even if it is for her to enter kindergarten.
